Sixteen Months of Type — ESTP

This is the fourteenth post in our 16 Months of Type series and we focus here on ESTP. To remind you, we are using our material on managing life transitions with psychological type from Building Your Career Transition Strategy as the jumping off point for each piece and then connecting this material to the self-discovery process that frequently accompanies life-changing events (LCEs). Read on!

ESTP, Extraversion, Sensing, Thinking and Perceiving When facing an LCE, ESTPs typically want an approach that is straightforward and to the point. If your preferences are for ESTP, you tend to need a utilitarian plan that has the strong potential for immediate efficiency gains in order to feel motivated to run with it. ESTPs typically have a good grasp of the present circumstances and the practical challenges associated with them. This can be especially useful when tackling, or helping others to tackle, changing conditions. ESTPs also tend to be able to act decisively where others might be hindered by convention; setting aside established policies and procedures in order to respond flexibly to situational demands. They can be energetic risk takers once they feel they have an accurate assessment of the current context. This solid grasp of concrete facts helps them meet and manage difficulties as they move forward. The often bold ESTP style may at times meet with resistance from those who are more cautious, and they may need to practice patience with those who are more circumspect and traditional.

When ESTP preferences are overdone, people who prefer ESTP may rely too heavily on improvisation and action as their primary means of handling difficulties. This can be problematic if it comes at the expense of investigating future implications — in their drive for spontaneity and the opportunity to make a difference right away, ESTPs may underestimate the need for formal, long-range planning. Similarly, with their desire to be able act autonomously and in the moment, people who prefer ESTP may neglect to include the concerns of others in their calculations or shy away from options that require long-term commitments. The ESTPs' typical knack of knowing when to respond, adapt, and even change course to meet demands, is a tremendous gift when it is balanced with prudence and forethought. By taking time to reflect, any strategy the ESTP champions will be strengthened and improved. Furthermore, this added step may well help them to foresee and thus avoid obstacles in the first place, reducing the likelihood of a crisis erupting or hurt feelings occurring when they spring into action.

ESTPs typically seek a no-nonsense companion to mentor, guide and support them on their transition journey. Such a companion can help them look at the facts, determine priorities, and connect those facts to the most logical and practical approaches to the challenges at hand. Straight talk about strategies that have worked for others in similar situations as well as simple, clear, actionable advice based on experience gives a solid foundation upon which ESTPs can improvise, tailor, and rearrange things to best handle the new landscapes LCEs have produced. ESTPs usually want the opportunity to ask a lot of questions as well as have the chance to try out new ways of thinking and doing in order to test their merits. A good companion will honor and respect this curiosity as well as encourage them to apply it to an exploration of feelings – both theirs and those of the others involved – in order to get a more complete picture of what’s happening and what’s truly important.

When such a companion is not present in the life of people who prefer ESTP, they may forge ahead too quickly, not realizing that their energetic, fast-paced approach is taking them off track instead of carrying them toward their goal. ESTPs may need to be reminded to apply their excellent problem-solving skills and inquisitive nature to uncovering other options and points of view. To make this process less laborious, ESTPs may want to include others — engaging in lively debate, acting out potential scenarios, seeking examples from those who’ve been there, etc., which can assist them in reflecting on how to craft a better solution. Having this sort of stimulating interaction also helps ESTPs cope with the more mundane parts of managing transitions. While pausing to get the details right may at times seem dull or tedious to those who prefer ESTP, this phase is often very important to others and can be crucial to the success of any effort. A straight talking companion can bluntly but caringly hold them accountable, inspiring them to take their time, to consider and incorporate the needs and feelings of others, and use their elegant and pragmatic tactical skills to find new ways of doing things that are more productive and advantageous for all involved.

Self-Discovery Tool Number 84
If you prefer ESTP (or you have someone in your life with this four-letter type code), the following questions may help as you process a life-changing event.

1.     How can you find time to check-in with yourself and discover what matters most – in terms of the bottom line as well as in people terms?
2.     How can you explore the larger meaning of your experiences in order to discover new ways of proceeding that might help you to manage your transition more successfully?
3.     How can you assess the impact of your actions on those you care about?
4.     How can you create plans, schedules, or routines to help you manage your new way of living more easily?

Sixteen Months of Type — ESFJ

This is the thirteenth post in our 16 Months of Type series and we focus here on ESFJ. To remind you, we are using our material on managing life transitions with psychological type (formerly available through CPP as Introduction to Type® and Reintegration and now available on CareerPlanner.com) as the jumping off point for each piece and then connecting this material to the self-discovery process that frequently accompanies life-changing events (LCEs). Read on!

ESFJ, Extraversion, Sensing, Feeling and Judging When facing an LCE, ESFJs typically want an approach that is appreciative and collaborative. If your preferences are for ESFJ, you most likely seek external engagement and the opportunity to talk about your experiences. This sort of dialogue allows people who prefer ESFJ to contribute their point of view and learn whether others feel similarly. The ultimate goal in these interactions for the ESFJ is to be able to anticipate the needs of each individual and to move forward with a sense that everyone’s interests are aligned. In addition, those who prefer ESFJ generally have strong core beliefs about the value of particular approaches to managing transitions. Thus it is important for them to feel that the actions they take are the proper ones; consistent with their values as well as those of their peer group, society and culture. During times of challenge ESFJs are motivated to take care of people and their everyday welfare, and in turn, others are motivated by the ESFJs’ upbeat, can-do attitude and willingness to help.

When ESFJ preferences are overdone, people who prefer ESFJ may over-interpret the hesitancy of those who are less comfortable with emotional self-disclosure, seeing their reticence as a lack of caring or commitment. ESFJs might not see that others may sincerely need more time to process events and their reactions to these events, and, given that time, will usually feel comfortable sharing their personal stories. With their natural gift for building a sense of community and relationship, people who prefer ESFJ typically place a high value on harmony. However, under stress, this emphasis on fostering agreement may lead ESFJs to view anything other than whole-hearted enthusiasm for their ideas as confrontational. This can stifle others’ efforts to explore the possible downsides of a plan. Exploring a strategy in depth and from all angles will nearly always produce a better solution for everyone involved, and those who prefer ESFJ can use their skills to facilitate an open and balanced discussion on how to move forward most effectively.

When facing an LCE, ESFJs typically need an accepting companion to mentor, guide, and support them on their transition journey. An accepting companion can affirm their worth and offer them specific and supportive feedback. Such a companion can also express appreciation for the ESFJ’s special, caring contributions to group welfare. This affirmative guidance can also help ESFJs explore and honor the unique contributions of others involved, as well as reassuring ESFJs that although peoples’ methods may be different, their goals are in common and there is unity beneath the surface differences. Because they want to get going on the steps needed to serve the common good, those who prefer ESFJ usually want to know exactly what they are authorized to do and when they can begin doing it. ESFJs seek companions who have made the journey before who can therefore offer this material expertise. Those who prefer ESFJ also value companions who can tell them, in concrete terms, what they can expect during transitions and advise them on what actions to take when challenges arise. A down to earth companion can also help them take a more detached look at the bigger picture, showing them how checking a plan against both the bottom line and people’s feelings will reduce conflict in the future.

When such a companion is not present in the life of people who prefer ESFJ, they may become so focused on the social norms defining what they are supposed to feel and do, that they neglect to evaluate how well these norms fit with their individual values and the unique situation. Indeed, they may be so concerned about disappointing significant others, that they may see their inability to conform to what (they believe) is expected of them as a personal failing. An accepting companion can help the ESFJ to see that community standards are just that—standard ways of operating, meant to be an approximation of what to do rather than the last word on the absolute best way for each individual to proceed in every single situation. Such a companion can help them to see that their own particular needs and desires matter, that they don’t have to be perfect (whatever that means), and finally that they do not have to and cannot be responsible for everyone’s satisfaction during confusing and tough circumstances. Incorporating these truths into any strategy will make implementation more pleasurable and successful for ESFJs and everyone involved.

Self-Discovery Tool Number 83
If you prefer ESFJ (or you have someone in your life with this four-letter type code), the following questions may help as you process a life-changing event.

1. How can you find time to check-in with yourself and discover what matters most – in terms of the bottom line as well as in people terms?
2. How can you explore the larger meaning of your experiences in order to discover new ways of proceeding that might help you to manage your transition more successfully?
3. How can you take an objective inventory of which approaches to your new circumstances are working and which are not?
4. How can you build flexibility into your goals and plans to take advantage of learning opportunities as they appear?

Sixteen Months of Type — INFP

This is the twelfth post in our 16 Months of Type series and we focus here on INFP. To remind you, we are using our material on managing life transitions with psychological type (formerly available through CPP as Introduction to Type® and Reintegration and now available on CareerPlanner.com – stay tuned!) as the jumping off point for each piece and then connecting this material to the self-discovery process that frequently accompanies life-changing events (LCEs). Read on!

INFP, Introversion, Perceiving, Feeling and Perceiving
When facing an LCE, INFPs typically want an approach that is aimed at improving relationships and clarifying purpose. If your preferences are for INFP, you most likely require time to reflect on and explore your feelings before engaging in or adopting new behaviors. INFPs tend to seek strategies that are win-win and allow them to delve into the deeper meaning behind significant transitions. They prefer approaches that encourage creativity and empower them to do things in their own way as they work toward mutual goals. INFPs welcome information from a variety of sources and strive to find solutions that foster healing, hope, and harmony.

When INFP preferences are overdone, people who prefer INFP may fail to practice constructive self-interest, allowing the notions of others to override their own feelings. Their measured, diplomatic approach can mean that they fail to speak up immediately or forcefully about the problems that they see. INFPs also can fall into the trap of assuming that they are mistaken about their perceptions – and thus stay quiet – if others aren’t voicing similar concerns. This INFP tendency to underestimate their authority can mean that important issues go unaddressed. They may also assume that even more careful thought and introspection will uncover a better way, when in actuality, speaking up, or taking some small action now, no matter how imperfect, would be simpler and more effective.

INFPs typically need an empathetic companion to mentor, guide, and support them on their transition journey. Since those who prefer INFP don’t want to be pushed or given a one size fits all prescription for how they should react to life-changing events, they seek companions, who will honor their values and their careful, individual style. Utilizing a wise companion to explore philosophical viewpoints that promote resiliency, forgiveness and understanding of self and others helps INFPs put difficulties into perspective. Discussing how others came to grips with the emotional toll of transitions helps them move forward with confidence, arming them with the objective fact that that if others can make it through similar challenges, they can too. Further, with the supportive encouragement of a creative companion, INFPs can practice responding courageously and actively to tough situations, relying the inherent strength of their values – their best guide and motivator when times are uncertain.

When such a companion is not present in the life of people who prefer INFP, they may agonize about how people will be affected if no win-win solution is found and exhaust themselves in the search for an ideal solution where all are pleased. While it’s admirable that INFPs typically strive to make transitions as smooth and painless as possible, they may overdo it by saying yes to too many requests and rescuing those who do not need rescuing. Without a trusted companion to help them look at circumstances and relationships objectively, INFPs might sacrifice their own wellbeing or permit others to take advantage of them. Sound, caring advice helps INFPs recognize that emotional appeals do not always require a response and that others have the chance to grow when allowed to deal with problems on their own. With such empathetic, reasoned support, INFPs can see tough times and their role in them realistically, enabling them to move forward more swiftly and with greater self-assurance – reminding them that the best harmony to seek is harmony with their own INFP values.

Self-Discovery Tool Number 82
If you prefer INFP (or you have someone in your life with this four-letter type code), the following questions may help as you process a life-changing event.

1. How can you find ways to enrich your experience by connecting with others and reaching out to share stories, time, and activities?
2. How can your past experiences be a guide to what might help you manage things more successfully now?
3. How can you take an objective inventory of which approaches to your new circumstances are working and which are not?
4. How can you create plans, schedules, or routines to help you manage your new way of living more easily?

Sixteen Months of Type — ESFP

This is the tenth post in our 16 Months of Type series and we focus here on ESFP. To remind you, we are using our material on managing life transitions with psychological type (formerly available through CPP as Introduction to Type® and Reintegration and now available on CareerPlanner.com) as the jumping off point for each piece and then connecting this material to the self-discovery process that frequently accompanies life-changing events (LCEs). Read on!

ESFP, Extraversion, Sensing, Feeling and PerceivingWhen facing an LCE, ESFPs typically want an approach that is down-to-earth and can be put into practice immediately. If your preferences are for ESFP, you most likely see a life-changing event as a time when practicality, flexibility and fun are essential to coping with challenges as well as in making things work. People who prefer ESFP tend to do best when they have hands-on learning opportunities that feature variety, action and collaboration. While those of other types may appreciate a more structured, formal approach, ESFPs thrive when things are casual, friendly, and focused on helping everyone feel as comfortable and upbeat as possible about whatever difficulties are being faced. ESFPs tend to have an uncanny ability to know just what to do to make people feel at ease and to arrange environments so that day-to-day needs are better served. They seem to foster a sense of camaraderie and warmth wherever they are.

When ESFP preferences are overdone, people who prefer ESFP may be so determined to make things better immediately that they neglect to think deeply about what the change means for them and their future, overlooking the long term consequences of actions or inactions. The usual ESFP drive to do something active now for the sake of security and convenience may sometimes mean they lose out on long-term gains. While this approach offers relief in the moment, it may prevent ESFPs from getting what they really need and/or deserve from a transition because they may be inadvertently cutting off possibilities for their personal growth and advancement. Furthermore, ESFPs present-focused, caring nature and desire for harmony may cause them to neglect the more formal processes they must complete to achieve their own long term goals and needs.

When facing an LCE, ESFPs typically need a lively companion to mentor, guide, and support them on their transition journey.People who prefer ESFP need support that encourages free-flowing, fun, experiential learning where they can discover the most practical ways to get what they want and to plan for their future. A dynamic companion can also help them see that some decisions, although difficult in the near term, will result in greater happiness over the long term. This helps ESFPs stay motivated and confident so that they can keep going when things feel uncomfortable or when immediate rewards or signs of success are not available. Ongoing support of this kind keeps ESFPs from getting discouraged and helps them hang in there long enough to start seeing their desires realized. These companions can also remind ESFPs that attending to their own needs is critical and that their insights have merit simply because they are theirs; even if others don’t seem to understand or agree.

When such a companion is not present in the life of people who prefer ESFP, they may neglect their own dreams, plans, or concerns out of habit; keeping their focus on making their immediate environment comfortable because they feel more competent in this arena. Without reminders to trust their hunches and listen their wise inner voice, ESFPs may struggle to balance present ease with future goals and may sacrifice big improvements for small comforts without realizing it. No one can see things just the way ESFPs see them and a good companion can remind them that all benefit when ESFPs honor and share their unique observations – doing so makes a better present and future for the ESFP and those significant to them.

Self-Discovery Tool Number 80
If you prefer ESFP (or you have someone in your life with this four-letter type code), the following questions may help as you process a life-changing event.

1. How can you find time to check-in with yourself and discover what matters most – in terms of the bottom line as well as in people terms?
2. How can you explore the larger meaning of your experiences in order to discover new ways of proceeding that might help you to manage your transition more successfully?
3. How can you take an objective inventory of which approaches to your new circumstances are working and which are not?
4. How can you create plans, schedules or routines to help you manage your new way of living more easily?

Sixteen Months of Type — INTJ →

This is the ninth post in our 16 Months of Type series and we focus here on INTJ. To remind you, we are using our material on managing life transitions with psychological type (formerly available through CPP as Introduction to Type® and Reintegration and now available on CareerPlanner.com) as the jumping off point for each piece and then connecting this material to the self-discovery process that frequently accompanies life-changing events (LCEs). Read on!

INTJ, Introversion, Intuition, Thinking and Judging When facing an LCE, INTJs typically want an approach that is objective and universally applicable. If your preferences are for INTJ, you tend to suspend judgment while seeking additional pertinent information. Those who prefer INTJ also tend to be very independently minded, seeing meaningful connections between disparate ideas that others may overlook. If you prefer INTJ you most likely feel most at ease when you have the opportunity to examine an idea in its entirety before deciding whether to move forward with it, in part or in whole. As a rule, INTJs tend to guard their “processing time” carefully and will resist being rushed into action until they feel satisfied that they have constructed a complete and thorough plan that accounts for any and all possible negative consequences. INTJs tend to cautious and have as their ideal philosophy, “measure twice, cut once.” This tendency can be especially magnified during times of change. Those who want to learn by doing, trying things out as they go will need to be patient with the INTJs measured approach. INTJs prefer to avoid surprises and the necessity to retool their design midstream.

When INTJ preferences are overdone, people who prefer INTJ may be so intent on pursuing a long term goal and crafting an overarching strategy to meet it that they fail to see small steps that could be taken today to improve their quality of life. The usual INTJ desire for all data to be examined from every angle and for the “right” target to be selected out of all the myriad possibilities can go into overdrive. This can mean they miss opportunities already present and available in their immediate environment. This drive for analytical perfection can keep them from simple, practical, and concrete strategies that could begin improving conditions immediately. When INTJs remain focused on outcomes that are theoretically possible but extremely unlikely, they can waste time and energy that might be better spent understanding and working with their new circumstances rather than trying to force reality into their vision of how things should or could be. During times of ambiguity, INTJs can become fixated on remaining detached to manage anxiety. When taken too far, this can cause them to neglect to consider the impact of their decisions on their own emotional well-being as well as on the well-being of their significant others.

When facing an LCE, INTJs typically need an insightful companion to mentor, guide, and support them on their transition journey. Since those who prefer INTJ enjoy debate, discussion and challenging the conventional wisdom, they seek companions who can spar with them and hold up under repeated rounds of questioning. They tend to see their situation as unique and therefore they want a companion who can inspire them to devise a far-reaching and innovative solution that is as individual as they are. A discriminating companion will respect the high standards to which people with preferences for INTJ hold themselves while assisting them in determining which are worthy holding onto with their usual tenacity. This guidance can also help them see which standards, if maintained, could actually prevent them from attaining that ideal future state that they seek to achieve. Finally, wise counsel can assist INTJs in remembering that life by definition is a mystery and not everything can be anticipated or planned. With encouragement, most INTJs will recall people, events, and occurrences from their past that although unexpected, were of tremendous benefit – assuming a curiosity mindset creates room for more such unforeseen gifts.

When such a companion is not present in the life of people who prefer INTJ, they may reject common sense plans and believe that there is little benefit to asking others for advice. Without reminders of their shared humanity — including possessing a physical body with physical needs — they may assume that their situation is somehow so exceptional that the wisdom and practical experience they might glean from others simply doesn’t apply. In addition, without a companion to help them avoid seeing any failures as their sole and personal responsibility, INTJs may struggle to take effective action in the here and now to alter their future for the better. This lone wolf tendency may cut them off from rewarding, interesting, and even fun experiences with those that are seeking to collaborate or help if only they would be allowed to do so. In the absence of a practically minded companion who reminds INTJs to utilize the knowledge and experience of others and helps them clarify their immediate priorities, people who prefer INTJ can get hung up on waiting for a flash of insight that signals the perfect plan and suffer unnecessarily without support. A perceptive companion can reassure them that getting going on implementing a “good enough” plan, that is, one that eases their suffering and allows trusted others to participate, will make them better off in both the short and the long term.

Self-Discovery Tool Number 79
If you prefer INTJ (or you have someone in your life with this four-letter type code), the following questions may help as you process a life-changing event.

1. How can you find ways to enrich your experience by connecting with others and reaching out to share stories, time, and strategies?
2. How can your past experiences be a guide to what might help you manage things more successfully now?
3. How can you assess the impact of your actions on those you care about?
4. How can you build flexibility into your goals and plans to take advantage of learning opportunities as they appear?

Sixteen Months of Type — ENTP

This is the eighth post in our 16 Months of Type series and we focus here on ENTP. To remind you, we are using our material on managing life transitions with psychological type (formerly available through CPP as Introduction to Type® and Reintegration and now available on CareerPlanner.com) as the jumping off point for each piece and then connecting this material to the self-discovery process that frequently accompanies life-changing events (LCEs). Read on!

ENTP, Extraversion, Intuition, Thinking and Perceiving
When facing an LCE, ENTPs typically want an approach that that has few restrictions and allows for questions. If your preferences are for ENTP, you tend to do best in times of change when there are opportunities to ask probing questions, debate concepts, and explore multiple options for moving forward. You want to brainstorm with others as well as try things out. ENTPs tend to prefer to keep things fluid, allowing for improvisation and adaption as new data become available. Sticking to a plan just for the sake of it can be a recipe for frustration, boredom, and loss of energy for ENTPs. After all, who knows when new information will come along requiring a complete rethink from the ground up?!

When ENTP preferences are overdone, people who prefer ENTP may be so focused on what might coming up next and how they can make it happen more quickly, that they tend to overlook the present moment, both specific facts and their feelings about these facts. This future and action-oriented approach can mean that they fail to attend to important details — including practical necessities and their own and others’ current physical and emotional needs — and thus inadvertently create more work in the long term. When things are done in a less than careful manner, they will most likely need to be reworked or reexamined later. Those who prefer ENTP may also withdraw their participation if things seem too routine or mundane, not recognizing that a little time spent in the necessary “grunt work” of reviewing genuine limiting factors will add veracity and strength to their vision as well as engender the support of more cautious folks.

When facing an LCE, ENTPs typically need a creative companion to mentor, guide, and support them on their transition journey. Since those who prefer ENTP are usually curious and enthusiastic, they seek companions, whether friends, colleagues or helping professionals, who aren’t afraid to question the status quo, look at things critically as well as playfully, and enjoy robust banter. No topic should be off limits and spirited and vigorous discussion is paramount. ENTPs are usually open to all kinds of information and a source’s expert status due to rank or title holds little weight with them. Any companion helping ENTPs on their journey needs to be broad-minded as well – information has to be good in and of itself, and something that is traditionally seen as true is not enough to convince ENTPs of its value.

When such a companion is not present in the life of people who prefer ENTP, they may struggle to keep up their motivation when things feel slow, dull, or tedious. A clever companion can help ENTPs see that those around them might need things to evolve more slowly and judiciously and encourage the ENTP to be patient with those who are less action-oriented and spontaneous. Without this forthright and sage feedback, people who prefer ENTP may assume that others are trying to thwart the change process when instead they most likely just require a more measured approach. Having a companion who can challenge them to recognize the differing needs of others can also act as a springboard for ENTPs becoming better able to identify their own feelings and needs. Together they can brainstorm ways to get these needs met during the rough spots, stuck points and “doldrums” periods common to all transitions (and remind them that these will not last forever) while at the same time understanding that others may need more in the way of specifics or reflection time to the appreciate the future potential that ENTPs see so readily.

Self-Discovery Tool Number 79
If you prefer ENTP (or you have someone in your life with this four-letter type code), the following questions may help as you process a life-changing event.

1. How can you find time to check-in with yourself and discover what matters most – in people terms as well as in terms of the bottom line?
2. How can your past experiences be a guide to what might help you manage things more successfully now?
3. How can you assess the impact of your actions on those you care about?
4. How can you create plans, schedules or routines to help you manage your new way of living more easily?

Sixteen Months of Type — ISFJ

This is the seventh post in our 16 Months of Type series and we focus here on ISFJ. To remind you, we are using our material on managing life transitions with psychological type (formerly available through CPP as Introduction to Type® and Reintegration and now available on CareerPlanner.com) as the jumping off point for each piece and then connecting this material to the self-discovery process that frequently accompanies life-changing events (LCEs). Read on!

ISFJ, Introversion, Sensing, Feeling and Judging
When facing an LCE, ISTJs typically want an approach that is well established and supportive as they come to grips with their altered circumstances. If your preferences are for ISFJ, you most likely want to find peace and quiet to enable you to digest all that has been happening and to consider carefully how you can sequence any next steps so that they are most beneficial for all concerned. ISFJs tend to prefer plans that emphasize security and maintain predictability (as much as possible) and seek methods to assure them that what they are doing what is sensible and appropriate. People who prefer ISFJ often find that activities that produce a tangible or useful product – knitting, gardening or woodworking, for example – can help them feel more relaxed as they work through the ambiguities that usually accompany an LCE. Engaging in activities with specific steps and specific goals can help them regain a sense of stability and comfort when so much else feels uncertain.

When ISFJ preferences are overdone, people who prefer ISFJ may fail to recognize that their interest in preserving tradition is keeping them stuck in routines and processes that are no longer meeting their needs. This tendency may also keep them from utilizing and adapting to new data that could improve circumstances and create new and better practices and procedures. Moreover, in their desire to serve others, ISFJs may put their own concerns on the back burner. If they don’t get encouragement from significant others to make self-care a priority, they may see play or relaxation as a dereliction of duty rather than as an appropriate way to recharge that all of us need (even the highly dedicated ISFJ!). With their typically strong sense of loyalty and commitment, those who prefer ISFJ may shy away from expressing divergent views and postpone discussions about where views clash out of a fear of stirring up conflict. Counter to their intentions, this approach may increase the likelihood of misunderstandings and exhaust them as they try to do the impossible and keep all parties happy.

ISFJs typically need a kind companion to mentor, guide, and support them on their transition journey. By being available on a regular and consistent basis, a caring companion can provide the ISFJ with non-hurried, one-on-one time to discuss their hopes and fears. Such a companion can help them to sort through the facts and help make these more meaningful by connecting the personal specifics the ISFJ is dealing with to the larger picture. Since ISFJs are usually concerned with how they might be perceived by others, a sympathetic companion can gently nudge them to check the accuracy of these perceptions; reminding them to examine whether their beliefs about what others want or expect of them are accurate. Further, things have changed, therefore what’s expected or what’s appropriate is likely changing, too. Some confusion or awkwardness during the transition is normal and is not a character failing of others or of the ISFJ!

When such a companion is not present in the life of people who prefer ISFJ, they may be left staggered and adrift with all the new data coming at them and feel unable to sift through it in such a way as to create an outline of what’s happening and prioritize their actions. Similarly, if there is insufficient information, or the available data are vague, ISFJs may struggle to commit to any plans for the future, wanting to wait until they are certain of all the necessary steps. Caring companions who have “been there” can serve as role models and help the ISFJ get unstuck. Together they can list and clarify what is already or still working so that these things can become part of new plans and traditions. With this thoughtful help, ISFJs can be reassured that many current practices – albeit some requiring updates or tweaks – will continue to be usable, thereby creating a bridge from the past to the future. Through this support, people who prefer ISFJ can begin to evaluate their options more realistically, find solutions in line with their values, and perhaps even start to celebrate some of their successes – or at the very least their hard work – in forging a new way forward.

Self-Discovery Tool Number 78
If you prefer ISFJ (or you have someone in your life with this four-letter type code), the following questions may help as you process a life-changing event.

1. How can you find the ways to enrich your connections with others by reaching out to share stories, time, and activities?
2. How can you explore the larger meaning of your experiences in order to discover new ways of proceeding that might help you to manage your transition more successfully?
3. How can you take an objective inventory of which approaches to your new circumstances are working and which are not?
4. How can you build flexibility into your goals and plans to take advantage of learning opportunities as they appear?