What do you do when all your patient and careful effort to solve a problem wasn’t enough? When despite trying again and again, you are unable to succeed? How do you manage the grief that comes with a sense of failure? We’ve all been there and it feels truly awful. But before sinking into the murky waters of despair, try out the tips below to get back to the brighter side of life.
1) Decide it’s OK. As ridiculously simple as this sounds, accepting the outcome as OK - even if it’s not what was hoped for or planned - brings peace. By making a mental shift and choosing to see the outcome as OK, you can let go of the burden of thinking that you should or could have done something more. Ease up on your sense of personal responsibility and choose to believe that things ended up just as they were always going to – often this is true anyway.
2) Don’t tough it out alone. As the saying goes, “a burden shared makes for a lighter load.” Reach out to family, friends, a trusted confidante, or someone who loves you. Let them remind you that your life and your worth are built on more than this one difficult situation. Besides the comfort you can gain through telling your story, you may receive help, insights, or useful advice that would not be available if you had not reached out.
3) Do something fun, silly, or frivolous. Chances are you’ve been tightly focused on the setback you’ve experienced and have been in a serious mode for some time. Take a break from the heaviness. Distract yourself by doing something easy and light. Shift your concentration to beautiful and joyful things. Give yourself permission to do so, force yourself if you have to – your wellbeing depends on it.
Failure is a fact of life and when the stakes are high it can be debilitating. Making the effort to think differently and do something positive can feel overwhelming. Yet doing so has big benefits. Resolving to do your best to move forward in whatever way you can will help you and those around you get to a happier place.
Self-Discovery Tool 40
In the face of failure, commit to doing something immediately to feel better, even if it is committing to feeling your feelings of grief. Free yourself from the weight of “what if’s.” The past is over. Today is a fresh, new day. Don’t compound your disappointment by failing to move ahead – turn toward a better future by starting right now!
